I asked a question here three years ago and still think about the answer

It was about how to handle a friend who always asks for free work. Someone replied, 'Charge them your rate or give it as a real gift, no in-between.' I did that and it fixed the whole awkward thing. Has anyone else had a piece of advice from here stick with them for years?

4 comments

4 Comments

hollyscott1mo agoMost Upvoted

That advice is so clean it almost feels like a life hack. I wonder if the person who gave it was a professional or just someone who learned the hard way. What do you think makes that rule work so well when other attempts to set boundaries fail?

karenc201mo ago

It can backfire though, @hollyscott. That clean rule assumes the other person will respect a simple no, but some people just push harder. Like when you tell a coworker you can't take on extra work and they keep asking "why not" until you cave. The hard part isn't the rule itself, it's dealing with the guilt trips or anger that come after you use it.

casey2684d agoMost Upvoted

Oh come on @hollyscott, is it really that deep? Just say no and move on.

keith_owens31mo ago

My people-pleasing skills are so good I could cave to a brick wall. The guilt trip after saying no is the real test. You just have to sit with the awkward silence and let it be their problem.