I finally figured out why my coffee shop chats never lead to real work

I kept meeting people at spots like Octane in West Midtown, but we'd just talk about the weather. Last week, I asked a graphic designer about her hardest project this year instead. She talked for 20 minutes and then asked for my card. I mean, you have to ask a real question to get a real answer, you know? What's one specific question you ask that actually gets people talking?

3 comments

3 Comments

mila_murphy10d ago

Totally get that feeling of just spinning your wheels with small talk. I started asking people what part of their work makes them completely lose track of time, the thing they get so into they forget to check their phone. It cuts past the job title stuff and gets them talking about what they actually love doing, which is way more interesting and tells you a lot about how they think. That question has opened way more doors for me than asking what they do.

wyattramirez10d ago

That's a solid move. Gets past the boring stuff fast.

abbyhall10d agoMost Upvoted

I mean... it's just a question at a party, not a job interview. People ask "what do you do" because it's easy, not because they're trying to dig deep. Sometimes they're just being polite and don't actually want the full life story. That "lose track of time" question feels like a lot of pressure to be super interesting right away. What if someone's answer is just watching TV... then it gets awkward.