Every writing prompt forum gives the same 'show don't tell' advice, but nobody explains how

A writing group moderator in Austin told me to stop using adjectives and just describe the physical actions of my characters, so I tried it on a 2,000 word short story about a divorce. The result felt flat and robotic, like a police report, and my beta readers said they couldn't connect with anyone in it. Has anyone else had this advice backfire, or am I missing some step that makes it actually work?

2 comments

2 Comments

quinn34119d ago

My buddy tried this exact thing after a workshop pushed the same advice. He stripped every emotion word out of a scene where his character finds out his wife cheated, just wrote the actions like pulling the car over and gripping the wheel. Ended up sending it to his sister who asked why the character seemed like a robot who did not care at all. The missing step is you still gotta hint at the internal stuff, like have them tighten their jaw or stare at something too long. Pure action without that reads like stage directions, not a person.

williams.luna19d ago

Same thing happened to me, gotta keep tiny physical tells or it falls flat.