Just lost a $2,400 proposal because I over-explained the process

I sent this killer pitch to a startup in Denver, went into way too much detail about my workflow steps, and they came back saying it felt 'rigid' and 'scary.' I basically wrote a 8 page manual instead of a 1 page promise. Now I'm second guessing every proposal I send, should I just keep it super short and punchy from now on, or is there a sweet spot for how much process to include?

2 comments

2 Comments

joseph_green132d ago

Take a breath and rework it, one page to sell the result, not a recipe for the process.

kimr912d ago

@joseph_green13 nailed it. The result is what gets them excited, the process is what gets you stressed. People don't buy steps, they buy outcomes. When I cut mine down to a few bullet points and a timeline, the response rate went way up. Just save the deep dive for after they say yes.