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Had a chat with an old client who said my proposals read like a ransom note
She told me she used to skip all the fluff and just look at my price and timeline in 10 seconds. So now I lead with exactly those two things and delete everything else.
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abby_fisher2mo ago
Did you ever find out if they actually read the stripped-down version, or just still skipped to the numbers? My old boss used to handwrite "CALL ME" on his quotes in red pen. No idea if it worked, but it definitely got a reaction.
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adam4142mo ago
Funny you mention that because I've noticed a weird thing about how people read stuff these days. Everyone claims they're too busy for long emails or detailed instructions but then they'll spend 20 minutes scrolling through a Facebook thread arguing about something they didn't even read properly. The stripped-down version probably got some glances but honestly if the numbers weren't bold or highlighted most people just glaze over anyway. It's like we're all trained to scan for action items and dollar signs and nothing else registers until something screams at us. Your boss's red pen trick sounds desperate but sometimes desperate works when nothing else does. Kinda makes you wonder how much good communication actually happens versus just lucky reactions.
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henry_anderson542mo ago
Wait, did I miss something or did the stripped-down version actually work in the end? Because @adam414, you hit on something I never really thought about until now - I used to think short and sweet was always better, but watching people scan past crucial info unless it's screaming at them in bold has me rethinking everything. Your point about everyone having time for arguments but not for reading is spot on, I've seen coworkers spend ten minutes debating a deadline that was literally in the second sentence of the email. Maybe the real trick isn't making it shorter, but making the important parts impossible to miss without looking desperate.
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