A freelancer in a Portland coffee shop gave me a line for my cold pitch emails that actually works

I was working at a spot on Division Street about two months ago, feeling stuck because my outreach emails were getting ignored. The person next to me saw my screen and just said, 'Try starting with 'I saw your project on [platform name] and had one immediate thought...''. I used that exact line in my next ten pitches and got three replies, which was huge for me. Has anyone else found a specific opening sentence that gets clients to actually read the whole email?

3 comments

3 Comments

the_leo3d ago

What if you made that thought super specific to their actual work? Like instead of just saying you had a thought, you say "I saw your new landing page and immediately wondered if you've tested the headline against a question format." That shows you really looked.

shane_carter3d ago

Good point, but that could come off as pushy.

wyattramirez3d ago

Yeah that line works because it sounds like a real person. @shane_carter has a point about pushy, but the trick is making the "one thought" actually helpful, not just a sales hook.