A guy I met at a coffee shop in Boise told me to cut my pitch email down to 3 sentences, and he was right | Email Template Swap - Freelance Forum - The Community for Independent Professionals
A guy I met at a coffee shop in Boise told me to cut my pitch email down to 3 sentences, and he was right
I was sitting next to this older sales guy at a coffee shop in Boise two years ago and showed him my pitch email, which was 5 paragraphs long. He said nobody reads past the third line and told me to make it 3 sentences max, but I figured my details were too important to drop. For 6 months my reply rate sat around 4 percent, so I finally tried his version and it jumped to 19 percent. Turns out people just want to know who I am, what I do, and what I want, so now I wonder what else I am over explaining. Has anyone else chopped a template way down and gotten better results, or did it backfire for you?
That line about wanting to know who you are, what you do, and what you want sounds clean, but three sentences leaves no room to show why you are worth a reply. People get a lot of email and a cold pitch that reads like a template gets ignored just as fast as a long one, so the jump to 19 percent probably came from other things too, like timing or who you sent it to. Cutting words can help, but I would not turn that into a rule that shorter always wins.