Back in 2020, my cold pitch emails were basically just 'Hey, need a website?'

I sent one to a bakery in Austin that was so bad, the owner replied 'Is this a prank?' and I realized I needed an actual template. Now I use a 3-sentence structure that starts with a specific compliment about their business, and my reply rate went from like 2% to over 30%. What's the funniest or most brutal reply you've ever gotten to a bad pitch?

3 comments

3 Comments

kevinallen12d ago

Used to think templates were for people who couldn't wing it. Then I pitched a bike shop with some generic line about "boosting online sales" and the guy sent back a screenshot of his Google reviews page, which was just packed with five star ratings, and wrote "My business is doing fine without your made up problem." That stung, but it clicked. You can't just talk at people. Now I always find one real thing to mention first, like their community repair events, because it proves you actually see them as a person, not a target.

kelly_rivera12d ago

Remember sending a pitch so bad it physically hurt. I wrote to a local bookstore offering "modern web solutions" and the owner emailed back just a link to their beautiful, award-winning site that had won an award. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never sell anything again. That shame is a powerful teacher though, it forces you to actually look at who you're talking to. Your three-sentence fix is exactly the move, starting with a real compliment shows you did the bare minimum of homework.

michael_williams12d ago

My local coffee shop has a website that looks like it's from 2003. I still go there every day because the coffee is good and the owner knows my name. The idea that a bad pitch is some huge moral failure feels overblown. It's just a bad sales email, not a personal insult. You learn, you move on, you make better coffee.