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My 2-paragraph follow-up email got zero replies, the one-liner got 12

I spent forever crafting this detailed follow-up to a client I pitched 3 weeks ago in Austin, really explaining the value and all. Then for another lead I just sent 'Checking in, still interested?' and somehow got 12 responses out of 15 sends. Is there a sweet spot between too much and too little, or is it just about the timing of when you send them?
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