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Warning: my client pitch email got 14 replies out of 20 sends and I'm not sure why
I sent a cold pitch to 20 small businesses here in Columbus two weeks ago using a short 4 line template with the price right in the second line, and 14 of them wrote back, which never happens for me. My old template was longer and fancier and I used to get maybe 3 replies, so I'm trying to figure out if the plain layout or the early price is doing the work. Has anyone split tested a short pitch against a longer one and seen a gap that big?
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craig.max23h ago
Honestly I see it different. Going from 3 to 14 replies on 20 sends is a HUGE swing, and that's almost never one change doing all the work, it's usually the combo plus timing plus the list itself. Plain layout and early price both lower the effort for the reader, but you also changed the whole feel of the email, so I wouldn't give all the credit to the short version. If you really want to know, run the old length with the price in line two and see if the gap holds, because my guess is the price placement is the bigger piece here.
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